It all started when I began looking through the magazine rack at my local co-op. It has a variety of magazines and periodicals that you don't find in most stores, covering topics from hobby farms to global feminism to yoga and science. I had to find an article to critique for an assignment, so I browsed the publications with interest. I've always done the majority of my contemporary and informative reading on the internet, so I wasn't prepared for what I found as I read past covers and flipped through features.
In the first week that I scanned the selections, I found that 6 out of the 8 magazines that I was interested in were covering the same basic subjects at large. Now I can understand that this would be closely tied to world events and a global consciousness on a level that we are just barely coming to be aware of and understand. But what really struck me was that each of these magazines was answering a different aspect of a question I had been ruminating on in my own mind. You know the type. Questions that aren't answered by a quick google search. Questions that you have to put out into the universe and hope that the answer will be found by your intentions and find its way back to you. And here I was, receiving those very queries reflected back to me.
I can also comprehend that this is in part a result of my openness and willingness to receive. When you have a thought in the back of your mind, the world that you perceive begins to take shape around the truth of that thought, and your reality begins to be a reflection of that truth. And because I do believe there is truth in the genuine searching, (or else our minds would not be drawn to these persistent ideas), I believe that the results of our searching must contain truth as well.
So here I am, discerning truth from a variety of sources, all inexplicably connected. But it wasn't the only time that this would happen. I began to make a habit of returning to the magazines on their deep, hand crafted wooden shelves each week as I shopped for my groceries after my Saturday morning yoga sessions. And I began to receive answers to other questions. My understanding was opening on various subjects of interest that had been occupying my thoughts the past couple of months. Sometimes it was simply by reading titles of different articles, others I knew that I had to purchase the magazine and read the whole thing cover to back to gain insight. But I was never disappointed.
And yes, you could say I simply saw what I was looking for. And I think you're right. I did see what I was looking for, but I was looking for what God wanted me to see as well. I felt guided by something higher - and the truths that I saw may not have been there because God told someone what to write, but I may have had the ability in that moment to see something differently than I would have seen it otherwise. And I saw God's hand in that.
Similarly, I have had experiences with music sprinkled throughout my days during this same time frame. There have been times that I got into the car and was particularly troubled with a subject or a person, and I would be wanting some form of guidance for what to do or how to change my perspective to a more positive or understanding one. So I would set my phone to shuffle and let it play from whatever artists and albums I had downloaded. And invariably, the sequence of songs would present a very powerful message. Lines stood out that I hadn't noticed before or interpreted in such a way. Melodies moved my heart to embrace a conclusion that I had been resisting. My heart found expression as my voice led my soul along to the lyrics that God was singing to me. And again, I could believe that God manipulated the playlist, but I don't necessarily. I think God showed me what could be there, and spoke to me in a way that I was able to hear.
God is speaking to me, and I am learning how to finally speak back and believe that I am being heard. My own communication doesn't look like what I thought it would, but it is no less powerful and real.
Where art thou?
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